The hunger for love

Love is one universal language! That is a statement that I have heard being declared from various places of this world, whether in movies or in songs; whether directly to me, or indirectly. I have noted that it is difficult for anyone of us to resist the need to be loved and/or to love. Abraham Maslow in his hierarchy of human needs lists love as the third need that must be fulfilled. As such, every person has the desire to belong to someone or something; this could be a group or an organization. But the belonging is very crucial. And, indeed one of the places where someone can get this kind of love is in the family.

The family is the basic unit of a society. Family forms the basis for the shaping of the very pertinent facets of one's life. A child gets to become what his family has exposed him/her to. The values that we learn at home are inevitably what shape us. The best way that a child learns is by observing. It is not only in the many words that a father or mother will keep snarling at him/her; it is actually in what they can see for and by themselves. If the child senses that they are loved and appreciated, they will most likely blossom without much rebellion or trouble.

Whenever I look around me and I hear the reports on child abdication, social evils like rape, murder and armed violence, I keep asking myself "Why this?" And I think, the answer lies in the kind of upbringing most of these people have received. If they lacked in something, they will tend to extract it from without them. And that may mean going beyond the norms of even coercing others for their own benefit.

Sadly, some people could get so vengeful that they hurt as many people as possible including their own parents. Ross Kemp, a renowned journalist, outlines some of these issues in his enthusing investigative reports. He puts across lots of admissible data in his features. When you take a good look at his investigations on gangs in Belize, Brazil, Jamaica and even in the USA, one clear thing is that most of the instigators yearn for approval (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M2U7t3x4T5Q&list=TLC7ngKFILSFT_uYMQKcXdgzsMjQ6XmV53). Apparently the young people in the gangs depict traits of a people who may have lacked a good sense of love from their parents and generally their entire family members. These realities result in abuse of drugs and extreme violence and crime. Research has shown that when a child lacks love in their upbringing they could resort to some "uncomely" behavior. In line with that, I came to learn, the hard way though, that no one is too strong not to break. Every person can be broken by the power of love.

Let's take for instance a suicide bomber! This kind of person is trained to keep allegiance to his clique. He is trained not to "betray" his own by giving any information. This level of allegiance is supported by the assurance they get on everything being taken care of, including their families. And, there is always the feeling that they have security and belonging to this group. With that, it is difficult to break their code. However, if some other person came along and threatened them by the use of their family as a bait, they would succumb. Thus, everybody can love and desires to protect this love.

Even the strongest break at the power of love. Love is so strong a force that no one can resist it. It can heal great wounds; it can salvage great brokenness; it can eliminate some levels of bitterness. Love can speak so profoundly beyond what any man can say or wish. It is why, I guess, Jesus said "...they shall know you are my disciples if you love another". And did you know that God is love? If what I am presupposing here doesn't make sense, then just look around you!! See how many people are suffering because of a heartbreak, see how many people are struggling with rejection, see how many people are decrying broken homes. All these issues, and many more, have their origin in love. If only love were genuine and true all throughout these families, then may be this world we live in could have ended up a better place.